hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I want a musical about memes.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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