hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
