I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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