Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
BRING THE BAGELS
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
