there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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