I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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