Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
