Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
