I just pynch a tree in the face
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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