This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
