i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
