Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
