You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
