i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
