it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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