what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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