just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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