I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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