they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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