Im at strip club and am horny
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
As shirtless as possible
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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