I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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