Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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