I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You have to summon your inner elephant
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
