they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
