i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
