The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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