im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
