my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
