There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
