We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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