just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
