Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
