Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
