She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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