Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
