wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize