so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
we're making bets on your personal life
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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