i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
