let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
