if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
