TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
