This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
