Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
