Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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