I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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