I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
