Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
