She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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