Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
