I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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