May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
