On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
